The Meaning of Life (Full Essay) Essay Example for Free

The Meaning of Life (Full Essay) EssaySomebody knocks on door Who is at that place? Police? What do you want? We want to talk. How many of you ar there? Two. So talk with each other. There ar two types of guests the ones, who want to stay longer, and the ones, who want to go al-Qaida asap. Strangely enough, these two types are normally found in married couples. Whats worse than polish offing an apple and finding a worm? Eating an apple and finding half a worm. Plants discuss broccoli It seems to me that I am like a tree. Walnut And Im like little brains. Mushroom Ha, but I look like an umbrella. Banana I do not like this conversation Men are having a good time in bar, just one sits pathetic. Peter, why are you so sad? My wife was diagnosed with AIDS Men, just kidding. Why all of you get so scared? A utterer during his tour arrives to a small province town and asks for a pretty noble fee Everybody recognises me says he to the chairman of local culture offi ce, trying to persuade him. Finally the concert organises place, but only one-third hatful came to it. You are a liar, you told me that everyone knows you, but only tierce man came to your concert, rebels the chairman. Of course, says the singer only those three came, who didnt know me. In a restaurant What would you like to eat? I would prefer to pick out the menu first. If you want to withdraw, go to the library. A guy comes into a bar and asks the barman to place 10 mugs and fill in with the beer. The bartender places mugs and starts filling them. The guy follows him and drink beer immediately. The bartender asks -Why are you so in a hurry? -If you would break, what I have, you would be as well as in a hurry. The bartender steps sanction a little bit and asks -And what do you have? -Somewhere around 70 cents. cockeyed jokes from mundane livelihood Imprisonment A draw writes a garner to her sun, who is in a prison. Dear sun, smells so labored for me since t hey took you to a prison nobody digs a vegetable garden, nobody plants potatos The sun writes back to her mother Mom, please stay away from the garden. If you start digging it, the police may come and both take you to a prison and put out mine imprisonment.. Mother writes back to her sun Darling, together with your last letter police came. They digged all over the garden, but havent found anything. The left being extremely frustrated. Sun writes his mom I helped as much, as I could with this. Please plant the potatos by yourself. Funny jokes from day-to-day smell A shot Doc, isnt it harmful to drink a shot before eating? No its not, if you dont eat too often Funny jokes from periodical look Glasses Doc, I think I request to wear glasses Indeed you have to, you are in a bank. Funny jokes from daily life Concert The organizers of the concert complain to the conductor of a chorus You were supposed to bring a entangled choir, but I can see only men here. But it is a mixed choir half of them know how to sing, and the other half- do not.Funny jokes from daily life Stupid Im sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already k modern it. Funny jokes from daily life- Teeth VS tongue Teeth says to tongue if I just press a little, youll get cut. Tongue replies if i insult a single word, all 32 of you pull up stakes come out. Funny jokes from daily life the pigeonhole A boss took one of his employees to video display his new sports car. That is amazing the employee was fascinated. That is true replied boss and if you set your new goals higher and work even harder I can get an even better car beside year. Funny jokes from daily life ComplimentI hate it when you offer someone a unbiased compliment about their mustache, and suddenly she is not your friend anymore Funny jokes from daily life driveway Man returning with his wife from guests. Drunk man drives car better than his sober wife. But there is only one p roblem, how to explain that to the policeman? Funny jokes from daily life Vacation Where are you dismission for vacation this year? I checked my budget and decided that I didnt get tired. Funny jokes from daily life fat Its not the dress that makes you look fat. Its the fat. Funny jokes from daily life Does laugh prolong life? Is it true that 5 minutes of laugh prolongs your life by 5 minutes? It depends who you are laughing at it may as well shorten it Funny jokes from daily life wrench At the Court discussion between judge and villager So you was propeling surrogate alcohol? Me? No What do you mean no? You have a device for that means propeled. Then please judge me also for rape So you have raped someone also? Well no but I have a device Funny jokes from daily life Old cleaning woman The old woman comes to a gynecologist. He inspects her and says with the surprice An old woman, youre pregnant How did you managed at your age? Oh, those teens. They always asks to te ll them everything, then show and give to try Funny jokes from daily life A fool On a set down a man shouts at another man Tell your son not to imitate me. A man to his son Son, stop playing the fool. Funny jokes from daily life A high fives You know what I was thinking about right now? What it would be like to have cardinal fingers. high fives would be different. Funny jokes from daily life Debtor The best way to make somebody look upon you is to borrow money from them.Funny jokes from daily life Folk Our folk not only knows how to read between the argumentations but also how to leave a record between the eyes. Funny jokes from daily life At the shop Can I help you? No. I just waited in the line for 30 minutes to say Hi. Funny jokes from daily life A false image I may look calm, but in my mind I have killed you three times already. Funny jokes from daily life Riches Yes, money cannot buy happiness, but it is much more comfortable to song in a new BMW than on a bike. Funny jokes from daily life Assurance I never make the same mistake twice.I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure. Funny jokes from daily life A fence Why is there a fence around the cemetery? Because people are dying to get in. Funny jokes from daily life 100 dollar bill A Why are you late? B There was a man who lost a atomic number 6 dollar bill. A Thats nice. Were you helping him look for it? B No, I was standing on it. Funny jokes from daily life Rolls A family bought an apartment and started interior decorations. Wife tells her husband Honey, go to the neighbors and ask how many rolls of wallpapers they have bought when they were decorating their walls.The husband went to the neighbors and he was told Twelve rolls. The family bought twelve rolls, started decorating but at the end six rolls were left unused. incensed husband goes to the neighbors Hey you, shitty pigs, couldnt you have told me the truth? We have six rolls left now. We have six rolls left as well, answere d the neighbor. Funny jokes from daily life Claustrofobia What is Claustrophobia? This is a fear of closed space. For example, you go to a store for a beer and are afraid that it will be closed. Funny jokes from daily life cubic yard How many feet are in the yard?That depends on how many people are standing in it. Funny jokes from daily life Stupid passengers The policeman stops the driver and says You won 500 dollars for clothing a safety belt. What will you do with the winning? I do not know, probably will pass the exam for a driving license Then his wife says Do not try He always talk like that when he is drunk. Passenger from rear wakes up I told you that we riding habit go far away with the stolen car At the same time voice from the trunk apply we already crossed the border? Funny jokes from daily life Smoking.